Sit Rep

I've sent "The Automatic Pen" out to Analog today.

Hopefully, Stanley Schmidt will like a 21st century Mark Twain type tall tale about a country hick genius who builds a wormhole to meet aliens who can fix his automatic pen.

I'm continuing to eke out an SF script rewrite. It's like pulling teeth, but I halfway get the feeling I'm onto something.

Hailing freqs closed.

Sit Rep

Today I finally mailed off "Ra-Gho-Zu" again after it got rejected by Analog in late January 2009. I've been busy, but I sent it to Asimov's. Hopefully, Sheila Williams will like my SF opus better than Stanley Schmidt did.

Then when I got home, I found my "Automatic Pen" manuscript waiting for me in the mail with a rejection sheet from WOTF.

Nichevo.

I'll mail the "Automatic Pen" to Analog by the middle of next week.

I'm crawling through a film script rewrite now and reading a novel or two--when I have free time from work.

I'll see how this year turns out.

Hailing freqs closed.

Sit Rep

I've been busy with work, but I've managed to send out two stories today (after more rounds of periodic revisions than I'd like to count).

I've sent "The Automatic Pen" to the Writers of the Future Contest and "Ra-Gho-Zu" to Analog.

With the help of different readers from different sources, I made some changes to "Automtic Pen" to address a few logic issues and considered changing the title but kept it. Hopefully, it'll go farther than the Semi-Finals, where "Ra-Gho-Zu" placed.

Speaking of which, I made some editing changes to "Ra-Gho-Zu," I was going to fire it off to Analog, then held it for the Federations anthology, where it got rejected. I was gonna fire it off to Analog a few weeks ago, then got a suggestion to cut short the beginning (which the WOTF judge thought was perfectly fine) and the story is actually faster paced. In hindsight, the Federations rejection helped spur the new draft. The version I sent to the anthology was the one I was going to send to Analog at first. Hopefully, the Analog editorial staff will like the newest draft.

It's all in the laps of the gods now.

I must eke through script rewrites now, when I'm not exhausted by work.

Hailing frequencies closed.

I got a rejection e-mail today from John Joseph Adams for his Federations anthology.

Nichevo.

I'm moving on to another market and with another story.

Fortunately, an acquaintance of mine with a great reader's eye, who'd been indisposed has gotten in touch with me and wants to read my latest fiction stories. Return time is a few weeks.

When she's done, I'll fire it all off. I'm eking away at film script rewrites now.

Signing off.

I just subbed via e-mail an improved version of my WOTF Semi-Final story "Ra-Gho-Zu" to a major anthology market called Federations.

Very hopeful.

The anthology is edited by John Joseph Adams, (quoted from his site) "the editor of the anthologies Wastelands: Stories of the Apocalypse, Seeds of Change, and The Living Dead. He is also the assistant editor at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, and is the print news correspondent for SCI FI Wire (the news service of the SCI FI Channel)."

The reading period is from November 1, 2008 to January 1, 2009. Rejections will be sent out quickly, but stories being considered may be held till January 31, 2009.

I was gonna fire it off on November 1, 2008, but I got an e-mail in late October saying that my Odyssey grad crit group was being revamped and seeking submissions. I thought I'd give it a shot and run it by the group to see if it'd pick up on a bug I might've missed.

The story was subbed along with one more to the Odyssey crit group on November 1, 2008. Me and another person critiqued the other story, but mine hasn't gotten a crit so far. The Odyssey crit group works on a free choice basis. I may choose not to participate with it any more.

I got tired of waiting, I know the story is good, and I didn't want to wait too long before subbing to John Joseph Adams, who has already been receiving submissions.

I was going to sub the story to Analog a few weeks ago after being rejected by Jim Baen's Universe. But I learned about the Federations anthology, and so I waited.

It's finally out now. Woohoo!

As Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, he is often misquoted as saying "The die is cast."

The more accurate quote is "Let the dice fly high!"

I'll be subbing another story to WOTF soon, then I'll put my screenwriting cap on for several months and work on some scripts that've been neglected for too long.

Hailing freqs closed.

It's interesting to live in one of those moments where history is being made.

I have been quiet for a while. Slogging through rewrites, work, and following the election on the Live Journal of Larry Hodges, where I've posted quite a few replies.

I will be sending out my "Ra-Gho-Zu" story to a major market some time next week. I'm just waiting on a final round of crits from people in an Odyssey grad critique group. And I'll be sending a short SF story, "The Automatic Pen" to WOTF about a week later after I get comments from the same crit group. I've decided to put my teen fantasy on hold for next year, while I read some teen novels and get back to some scripts waiting for my loving attention.

Work and the election have been taking up my time. Looking back, I suppose I could've commented a time or two on the election, but I'm not usually a political person and I'd set this blog up for chronicling my fiction/film pursuits.

Nichevo.

Anyone who's periodically checked my blog will have noticed the debates, SNL skits, etc. that I'd embedded. I hope that in some small way, I'd disseminated information that passing web surfers needed in order to decide on what to do for the 2008 election, which I believe is the most momentous in America's history to this point.

I'd debated on whether to vote early or show up on Election Day yesterday. After I'd decided to show up on Election Day, I came across articles that talked about waiting lines at early election polls of anywhere from 3-6 hours and that some polls would likely be mobbed on Election day.

Doh!

In my case, a large and spacious Greek Orthodox church that's right next door to my backyard is my local election poll. Built about 10 years ago, the church has all the frills and is rented out for weddings and parties all the time. I could've walked over, but I drove in order to be prepared to motor out of the place for work in case I had a three or so hour wait.

It took me only an hour all told of waiting, registering, and filling out my ballot. The poll opened at 7 A. I'd forced myself awake at 6 A after only 5 hours of REM time, got ready, and arrived at 6:55 A. A line had formed that stretched around one end of the church. I jogged to get a place, and the line kept forming behind me to reach around another wall.

The pace was decent, though. After about 25 minutes of waiting, I got to the front door, where volunteers were dividing the line into two for each of the two districts that could vote. The line for my district was a lot shorter and I zipped in, did my part, and drove back home to chill before work for an hour. I should've gotten a nap, but I got through the day.

I voted for Obama/Biden and a full Democratic ticket nationally and locally. First time ever. I'm an Independent and I'd voted for both parties in the past. But I voted for Obama as much as I voted against McCain and Palin. The Republican party has vowed to reform and change in order to regain the trust that George W. Bush has shattered. I am extremely skeptical of that when I consider how the GOP faithful has embraced Sarah Palin rather than be insulted at her selection by McCain as a stunt to draw disaffected Hillary voters.

Now the United States has its first black president, who has reached across age, ethnic, and other lines to gain the presidency. I believe he promises as well to be a global president as well with an Indonesian childhood, a Kenyan parentage, and a Middle Eastern name.

The honeymoon period will be sweet, but short since Obama is entering the presidency in circumstances possibly more dire than those that faced FDR: two expensive and mishandled wars in the Middle East that were needless to begin with, a skyrocketing national debt thanks to Bush Jr., rifts with the global community from Bush's "diplomacy," and sundry other issues. The Democrats also have, I believe 56 senate seats and two Independents aligned with them. Not quite filibuster-proof, but still a pretty strong position for passing vital legislation during Obama's presidency.

I believe Barack Obama promises to be an inspirational and capable executive. He'll need to be in order to fix the mess that Bush Jr. has plunged the nation into.

Hailing frequencies closed.

WHY YOU SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT DECIDE TO BE A WRITER

By MICHELE WALLERSTEIN
Screenplay & Novel Consultant
www.novelconsultant.com
email: novelconsult@sbcglobal.net


Writers write for all sorts of reasons. Some of these reasons are perfectly right and reasonable but many are heartbreaking mistakes.

There are people who go to movies and say to their friends and families: “I could have written a better movie than that!” Come on, admit it, you’ve all said it a few times. But if that is your only real motivation, it is pure ego and narcissism. Writing well is tough, grueling work. It takes years to become a really good writer, to be recognized in the film community and to make a living doing it.

There are many, many reasons that bad movies get made. Many of them start out as good screenplays. Perhaps the Producer uses the wrong casting director and the Star wants the dialogue changed to fit his mood, then the Director steps in and wants some changes to fit is “vision” of the film. Then the Producer has some problems with the financier so the film must
be set in Lithuania but it must look like Chicago. By now the original writer has been replaced many times by cheaper writers who are just happy to have some work and will do whatever they are told by anybody. There are so many permutations of the above-mentioned scenario that you can’t even imagine. Everyone starts out trying to make a good film. That’s a given.
What happens after that is a real crap shoot.

No one sits down and simply writes a terrific script. It doesn’t happen that way.

Another reason some people choose to write is to get something personal out of their system and off their chest. They feel that they have to get their story told. Perhaps it is their relationship with their mother or father. Maybe there has been abuse in their family or some other family drama that they need to explore or expose.

Again, this is not a good reason to write a screenplay. This is a very personal situation that may need to be told, confronted, and worked on in therapy, dealt with with loved ones or written about, perhaps, in a journal. It most likely is not a movie.

There are people who think that writing is easy, or that it’s cool, or that it’s fun. There are those who love to read so they think they can write. There are others who don’t know what else to do with their time.

To write a really good screenplay you need to take professional writing classes. You need to go to as many seminars on writing as possible. You need to read as many books on script writing as you can get your hands on. You need to write three or four screenplays then stick them in a closet and really start writing. Screenwriting is like learning how to play the violin or baseball, you have to practice, practice, practice.

A real screenwriter has to love the movies and has to be a real storyteller with a great imagination. This person must understand plot, character development, the three act structure, know what audiences love to see, understand what drama and comedy really are. The great screenwriter understands that any genre must touch upon the inner soul of their audience and make that audience feel something special, learn something special and come away with something new inside of them.

Becoming a professional writer is a long and serious road. It is not for the feint of heart. The rejections are horrible, but the rewards are great. Be sure you are devoting yourself to this process for all the right reasons and you can make it.

Baen's Universe Submission Update: Rejected

I got a short form letter via e-mail from Baen's Universe, saying "Ra-Gho-Zu" was rejected.

Nichevo.

I know the story is good. All I can do is sub to the next market on my list and move on with other stories.

I'd have thought that "Ra-Gho-Zu" would've been up Baen's Universe's alley, though.

Hailing freqs closed.

Sit Rep

It's been a little while...

I've been dark for the last few months, working and writing.

I just electronically posted to Jim Baen's Universe my revised WOTF 2008 1st quarter semifinalist story "Ra-Gho-Zu." Who needs snail mail when a likely market's website offers internet browser uploads?

The Jim Baen's Universe submission deadline for this current window is 11:59 P EST. Talk about cutting it close.

Very interested in hearing the response.

I have rewritten "Ra-Gho-Zu" more times than I care to count. I have to thank the many, many people who looked at the most recent draft I just fired off. It wouldn't be as good as it is without the interest they took in my story and their thoughts.

Now I'm gonna rest up, then work on another short story or two for WOTF and a whole bunch of film scripts languishing from want of attention.

I hope to comment on a film and/or TV show in the near future.

Hailing freqs closed.

Review: “Iron Man”


One cool comic book superhero epic movie.

I didn’t (and still don’t) spend much time reading comics as a kid, but I watched all the cartoons--including the bad ones. Even though Iron Man doesn’t have the same iconic recognition as Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Spiderman, the X-Men, etc., I knew who he was.

From what I’m told, he started out in Marvel Comics in 1963 as an anti-communist hero, then moved on to fighting evil in general. Unlike most other heroes, he’s not from another planet nor did he get his powers from magic or genetic mutation. He’s self-made from American technological know-how.

His alter ego, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), is a playboy billionaire weapons manufacturer and genius inventor modeled after Howard Hughes. After watching this film, I wished I had an aptitude for pushing technological boundaries.

Downey, while not the prototypical actor for a comic book superhero (which usually goes to young heartthrobs) is an actor of intelligence who draws from his own checkered past to initially play Tony Stark as a boozing, womanizing genius. Stark runs Stark Industries, the company he inherited from his father and the world's leading weapons manufacturer. Life is good. He blithely glosses over the death and destruction in which his company plays a major role. “They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire,” he says before demonstrating his latest missile, the Jericho. “I prefer the weapon you only need to fire once.” Downey delivers a knockout performance that by itself is worth the price of admission to watch. Fortunately, I got in at $7.95 with a student ID--and saw it twice on opening day.

“Iron Man” starts in the present, or recent past. With superb direction from an unlikely Jon Favreau (“Made,” “Elf,” and “Zathura,” none of which I saw), the movie opens in Afghanistan. There, Tony Stark displays his Jericho missile system for top US military and allied Arab brass. The Jericho test firing demolishes half a mountain, insuring big orders on his latest product of mass destruction. Afghan guerrilla insurgents, using Stark-issue military spec, then capture Stark and wipe out his Air Force escort.

Seriously wounded with shrapnel in his chest, Stark is brought to a cave where the gun-toting insurgents have set up shop. A Gandhi-like Yinsen (Shaun Toub), saves Stark with beyond next generation heart surgical skills. Yinsen implants a cylindrical electromagnet into Stark’s chest that keeps the shrapnel in his from reaching his ticker and other vital organs, resulting in instant flatline. Once Stark is saved, the insurgent leader, a chrome-domed thug named Raza (Faran Tahir), wants Stark to build him another Jericho missile.

Or else.

Under closed circuit surveillance, Stark doesn’t build a missile, but a miniature Ark reactor (fusion?) to power his chest electromagnet and an armor suit with mechanical arms and legs, and a weapons system featuring Gatling guns, flamethrowers, and missile launchers that fire out of his arms. Topping it off is an iron mask that’s a cross between a welder’s helmet and a goalie mask. When the amazingly stupid insurgents do catch on, it’s too late. Yinsen sacrifices himself to buy Stark time to power up his MacGyvered suit, which he uses to blast their camp to smithereens and fly--sort of--out of harm’s way.

Stark returns from three months in captivity a changed man. He's seen the horrors he has helped perpetrate. No more weapons manufacturing for Stark Industries, he says. Against the wishes of his ambitious No. 2, Obadiah Stane (a bald and bearded Jeff Bridges), Stark sets a new agenda of redemption and keeping the world safe from his weapons, aided by his trusted assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow with red hair) with whom he shares a budding romance and his best friend, U.S. Air Force Col. Jim “Rhodey” Rhodes (Terrence Howard). Everyone thinks he’s lost his mind, though.

The pieces of the first Iron Man lie in the Afghanistan desert, soon to be reassembled by Raza’s insurgents. Meanwhile the suddenly pacifistic Stark rebuilds a new and improved Iron Man suit (amid several funny snafus in the trial stage) , sleek red and yellow and looking like a 1952 Buick Roadmaster. As he pushes ahead with his quest for redemption, Stark uncovers a diabolical plot against him set in motion by a hidden enemy and makes full use of his new gold titanium plated alter-ego.

Despite being worked over by four screenwriters, the story is smart (though the insurgents could use more development), the dialogue features witty lines mostly from Downey, and the CGI is first rate with viewers hard pressed to tell where the effects end and a real suit is brought in.

For all the effects, Favreau thankfully doesn’t forget the man in “Iron Man.” A mark of his indie roots. Though brilliant and rich, Stark is a man with “character defects,” as he himself puts it. His enemies are men, too, corporate raiders and militants living in caves in the Middle East. This might be the most relevant superhero tale we have yet seen.

"Iron Man" is by far the highest profile outing for both Favreau and Downey. Downey, who was once uninsurable, has led a career much like Johnny Depp's--acclaimed for quirky roles in interesting movies, but never breaking through as a draw at the box office. “Iron Man” could be his “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

Compared to other recent superhero movies, I’d say “Iron Man” is a notch below “Batman Begins” (the reigning king of comic superhero movies), but on par with the second installments in the “X-Men” and “Spider-Man” franchises. With a few developments hinted at, like Iron Man’s partner, War Machine, and a big bad (he wears ten rings), the pieces have been set for a hopefully stellar sequel in, I believe April 2010.

Sit Rep

I've been quiet for a while...from writing.

I finished revising my YA fantasy, "The Dance," which I'll sub to WOTF. After I put it through an extensive round of critting. Hopefully, my readers will agree with my assessment that it's a good piece for its kind. :-)

I will soon start revising my 1st qtr 2008 WOTF Semi-Finalist tale "Ra-Gho-Zu" before subbing it to a likely market. I can hardly wait.

I finished rewriting the first of my five script rewrites and am waiting to consult with my script reader, who's been on the road.

I expect that after I finish my fiction, I'll dive back into the other script rewrites.

Some will be tougher than others. :-/

And if I find the time and energy, I will write a review on a TV episode and/or film in the near future.

Later.

K.D. Wentworth Crit

At last I got my long-awaited crit from SF writer/WOTF judge K.D. Wentworth of my 1st qtr WOTF story, "Ra-Gho-Zu."

She packed a lot of info into one page.

I expect to model my short crits after this one.

My story received consideration as a Finalist, but the second half didn't quite mesh well enough with the first half.

Doh!

I'll rework the story a bit and then shop it around to likely markets.

I'm working now on a fantasy YA story for WOTF, and aiming to make it good as others of its kind go. It's doing better than I expected, especially since I'm not a fan of this genre. But I thought it'd be good to stretch my wings a bit rather than confine myself to favorite territory.

It'd be something if my YA story placed higher in WOTF than my SF story, which is also the pilot for a planned saga of mine. My YA tale may also be my last short story for a while, since I want to get started on novels that I've put off for way too long.

Hailing frequencies closed.

Stargate Atlantis: "The Kindred" Part 1

Not my favorite storyline
We finally see Kanan--no Kanaan onscreen.

The father of Teyla's unborn baby finally appears.

In "Be All My Sins Remember'd," he was Kanan (the same name as the Tok'ra symbiote Jack O'Neill was blended with in SG-1 Season 6 episode "Abyss"). Now he's Kanaan (a belated last second spelling tweak?)

Tomato. Tomatoe.

Not having met Kanan--er, Kanaan until this episode, he didn't strike me as being particularly memorable or charming. Intellectually, I know he's supposed to be important to Teyla since she reveals that she's known him since childhood and he shares the same ability to detect the Wraith as she does. Emotionally, he wasn't built up for me to connect with him.

Teyla receives dreams of Kanaan (an ability she's never had before), telling her to search for signs of him on the planet Croya. The dreams are so lucid and clear that it feels like an oversight when Kanaan doesn't say where he actually is. I wonder how the dreams would've been if Teyla and Kanaan had walked walked through a marketplace that she vaguely recognized and Kanaan had said something cryptic about how important the planet Croya is?

At the same time, Keller reports to Carter and Team Atlantis that a new illness is spreading througout the Pegasus galaxy that kills 30% of the humans it infects and all the Wraith who feed on them. Keller also knows already that it's a variation on the innoculation developed by the Hoffan people in Season 1 "Poisoning the Well" to make humans toxic to the Wraith.

Teyla goes to Croya, where she finds a man selling Athosian jewelry. She gets him to show her where he found the trinkets, but a dart beams her up on the way to the stargate. A set up.

Meantime, Todd the Wraith sets off a subspace beacon to signal Sheppard to come to a meeting, where they trade info on the Hoffan protein for the location of Michael, the Wraith-Human hybrid, who by process of elimination must be behind the latest attack on the Wraith.

Teyla wakes up on a Wraith ship, where she finds Michael staring at her. He shows her that the feeding orifice on his right hand is gone thanks to genetic engineering and tells her he sent the dreams, posing as Kanaan, has plans for her baby, says he created a new uber race to replace the Wraith by mutating the Athosians, and displays Kanaan, who's a brainwashed Wraith-human hybrid.

With Todd's help, Sheppard and Lorne take their teams to a planet, where Michael may have a base. Caldwell transports them on the Daedalus. After he beams them to the base, a Wraith cruiser jumps out of hyperspace, and he commences to skirmish with just conventional rail gun batteries. Sheppard and Lorne's teams have an average fire fight with some Wraith worshipping humans armed with single shot hand stunners. No contest.

The Wraith cruiser (presumably with Teyla on board) flees into hyperspace when the Daedalus belatedly uses its Asgard beam weapons and Sheppard and Rodney find Beckett in a holding cell.

Beckett is wondering what took them so long, and things cut out at this point to be continued next week.

Lots of telling and infodumping in this episode with no drama.

Kanaan, unseen for 4 years and newly invented this season, has no impact and is a victim rather than an active character.

Beckett is supposedly the real Beckett even though he was killed in Season 3 "Sunday." I'll wait for the explanation on how this is possible.

It was nice to see Beckett again, but I don't feel that he should've been "killed" in the first place.

Carter and Teyla had a small bonding moment when Carter let Teyla go to Croya even though she thought it was a trap, telling Teyla to call her Sam. Moments like this were few and far in between this season. And ultimately irrelevant since Carter was around only part time and will not be a regular character next year.

Compared to other season finales and two-parters, this story leaves me uninvolved and skeptical.

Stargate Atlantis: "Midway"

Average
Teal'c versus Ronon Smackdown

I hadn't been looking forward to Teal'c and Ronon coming together because I was more focused on Daniel Jackson coming to Atlantis and the Weir-Carter debacle of Season 4.

I'm not necessarily against Teal'c and Ronon meeting, but Teal'c's character doesn't have a dramatic need to come to Atlantis. With SG-1 supposedly disbanded (again), Teal'c's priorities lie with taking care of the Jaffa nation.

Anyhow, Teal'c comes to Atlantis to coach Ronon on handling a xenophobic IOA interview. The two share some fisticuffs, end up in a draw, and then get caught up in a Wraith attempt to take over the Midway Station and infiltrate the SGC. When Teal'c and Ronon follow the first Wraith wave to Earth, Sheppard and Rodney come onto Midway with a few teams of marines and swap the station with Wraith reinforcements a few times before blowing up the station and escaping in a puddle jumper. On Earth, Teal'c and Ronon save the SG-C. Ronon then passes the interview of the IOA stiff who originally wanted to find an excuse to get him out of Atlantis. And Ronon flies back to Atlantis on the Daedalus to pick up Sheppard, Rodney, and a few survivors who were going stir crazy after a couple weeks in the puddle jumper.

On a surface level, this episode was a definite step up from the fillers of the last few weeks, full of superficial action and thrills. But that's just it. I feel this episode has little beyond the surface.

After three years of Teyla faithfully serving Atlantis and Ronon for two (not to mention Teal'c's 10 years on SG-1), there's suddenly one man, Coolidge, who's taking it on himself to review whether nonEarth humans can serve on Atlantis/SGC teams.

When Teal'c and Ronon meet, do they have to fight? What interpersonal conflicts do they have that'd motivate the fight? And when they do, how can they go one hour when full contact matches usually end in a few minutes? On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest, why do the Atlantis marines spar with Ronon at a 4, while Ronon revs up to 12?

Teal'c looks trim and his new long hair-style is dashing. But he didn't seem like himself in this episode, particularly when he told Ronon he would "very much" like to have a blaster such as Ronon's. As Master Bra'tac taught, it's not the weapon, but the heart that makes a Jaffa.

Kavanaugh, a recurring scientist character, who was formerly stationed on Atlantis returns to demonstrate that he's not only cowardly, but incompetent. He somehow doesn't know that using the system bypass feature to override the lockouts put in place by the Wraith trigger Midway station's self-destruct.

When the Wraith first come onto the station, Dr. Lee and the rest of the staff do nothing to seal off the control room and send an alert to the SG-C and Atlantis. There are no anti-intruder defenses and hardly any Air Force airmen stationed to resist a hostile take over.

Since the Wraith are capable of jury rigging a Pegasus stargate to access Midway and then override a security lockout of Midway's systems to reach the SG-C, why bother pumping Lee for the password? When did the Wraith learn how to read English? The Wraith commander who took over the station had a not so clever conversation with Sheppard in which he promised to bring Sheppard "a world of hurt." Would a Wraith channel an ECW smack-talking wrestler?

When Sheppard took back the station briefly, why did the Wraith open the control room and how did the Wraith who had Sheppard and his team in a crossfire miss?

The Atlantis marines and Wraith exchanged a lot of weapons fire without worrying about damaging sensitive equipment and causing breaches in the Midway station hull that'd bring on explosive decompression.

When Rodney and Lee decide to vent the atmosphere, the Wraith commander who'd gotten the information on Midway from Todd who'd hacked Rodney's database in Atlantis attacked Sheppard before getting shot and suffocated. What did the Wraith commander (with no name and personality) hope to accomplish? With the oxygen also totally vented while he fought the Wraith, how did Sheppard get himself into a pressure suit that requires the help of at least one other person and several minutes to enter?

It would've been nice to see Carter leading a team onto Midway at Sheppard's side, but that's not in keeping with her impersonation of Weir. It was strange seeing Walter in the SG-C control room without Landry (or SG-1) hovering over his shoulder.

If the Wraith had taken over the SGC, what could they have expected to achieve without the support of a fleet of hive ships in orbit? How would they have held out when the US military realized that the SGC was compromised, sealed it off, and directed a nuclear strike at Cheyenne mountain?

As Teal'c and Ronon swept the base for Wraith, they came across Coolidge, who unlike everyone else in the base was reviving from the Wraith stun wave that knocked everyone out. How? And why did Teal'c and Ronon listen to Coolidge when he demanded to be taken to a radio to contact the US military, which decided to set off a tactical nuclear warhead at the base. What did Coolidge hope to accomplish?

Even though the Earth episodes of Season 4 strike me as SG-1 installments with the Atlantis cast, the Wraith seeking to reach Earth is a legitimate Atlantis storyline. "Midway" struck me as being rushed, though, and in need of more development, providing enough material for two episodes, like the Genii take over of Atlantis in Season 1 "The Storm" and "The Eye."

Additionally, I find the IOA to be a weak and annoying antagonist on the homefront unlike the NID when it was run by Colonel Mayborne, who tried to take over the SGC during the first few seasons to aggressively exploit the Stargate and acquire alien technology at all costs and no scruples. I constantly find myself wondering what the producers find so fascinating about the IOA?

It was good to see fallout from Todd's collaboration with Atlantis earlier this season. With the conclusion of this episode, we know there's at least one faction of Wraith with sensitive information on Atlantis and likely the SGC as well. Until the Midway station is rebuilt, its loss will complicate the movement of personnel and supplies while Atlantis' one ZPM is at less than full capacity.

If one overlooks the superficial characterizations and logic loopholes, then "Midway" is definitely a popcorn blockbuster of an episode.

Supernatural: "Jus In Bello"

"Series classic"
The stakes ante up...

A couple of Season 3 plot threads begin to come to a head in this episode.

Trailing Bella for her theft of the Colt in "Dream a Little Dream of Me," the brothers Winchester track Bella to her latest hideout. Except it's empty--and Agent Henricksen comes busting in (thanks to a tip from Bella) with backup to finally nab 'em.

As the brothers cool their heels in the local hoosegow waiting for transportation to maximum security prison, over 30 demons come to kill them. After Henricksen is possessed and freed, he becomes a believer in demons and other things that go bump in the night.

It was interesting to see how Henricksen bonded with Dean and Sam, which made his death at the end more tragic and poignant. Henricksen would've been a great ally and convert to the hunter ranks, but now the brothers'll have to get by on their own, like they always have. Thegood thing is the Feds now think they're dead, giving them room to maneuver without pesky law enforcement stiffs trying to arrest them.

As the brothers, Henricksen, and the local cops struggled to stay alive, Dean and Henricksen focused on keeping safe the sheriff's secretary, Nancy. A sweet girl and a virgin.

When Ruby came to help out, she was understandably upset to learn that they'd lost the Colt. But she comes up with a plan, cast a spell to destroy every demon in 1 mile, including herself.

The cost?

Cutting out the heart of a virgin.

Sam considers it (another sign of his slipping to the Dark Side), which bothers Dean to no end. But Dean and Henricksen veto that course, making Ruby leave 'em to their fates and bemoaning that she picked the wrong side in the demon war to support.

Dean strikes on an alternative plan, let the demons into the jail and fight 'em off.

Brilliant?

Somehow it works. The brothers and friends break the demon seals--then reseal them and cast a spell that offs all the demons and saves their hosts. Except for one who got away before Nancy could finish laying down a line of salt.

After Sam and Dean leave, a little girl comes in, looking for them. When Nancy asks her name, she says "Lillith" and casts a bright white light that blots out everything.

Ruby visits Sam and Dean, bringing to their attention a newscast of the jailhouse being blown up with the presumed loss of everyone there. Ruby gives the brothers charms to hide 'em from Lillith and warns they better listen to her next time and be willing to do what it takes to come survive.

"Jus In Bello," acceptable practices while in war, is the perfect title for this episode.

The only quibble I had with this episode was the demon possessing Henricksen's boss (the first one on the scene), Deputy Director Steven Groves. He kept up the FBI director act--until he tried to blow Dean away with a silenced 9 millimeter. Nice play on Dean and Sam playing law enforcement, but why pretend when he had the brothers alone and why not fry 'em with flame from his fingertips, snap their necks with a snap of his fingers, etc.?

I can hardly wait to see what'll come next in the next few episodes. The brothers have to decide how ruthless they have to be in fighting the demon war and Sam may have to consider stepping up to take Lillith for the role of the demon messiah in order to "save" Dean from going to hell.

If Dean does, though, I feel the writers are talented enough to get good mileage out of this storyline and keep it going for a lot of episodes. Maybe all of Season 4?

Here's hoping the CW renews the series for next year.

Breaking WOTF update:

I got a voicemail today saying I'm actually a Semi-Finalist eligible to get a crit from K.D. Wentworth.

This was a surprise...

I'm looking forward to poring over K.D. Wentworth's thoughts before I fire the story off to Baen's Universe--or Analog. :-)

Hailing frequencies closed.

WOTF Results

I just got a letter in the mail today telling me that my "Ra-Gho-Zu" short SF fiction story placed as a quarter-finalist in the 1st qtr of the WOTF 2008 contest. My name will be posted in the WOTF blog sooner or later.

They're calling quarter-finalists "Honorable Mentions" now. It's still the same thing. We don't get anything except a credit on a short story/novel cover letter to an editor at the most.

Quarter-finalist in 2006 and a quarter-finalist in 2008 again... Unlike the first time, I also get a certificate (and a footnote mention in the WOTF blog).

I could keep on submitting to WOTF except I have to move beyond short stories and onto novels I need to write. Short story publications don't earn fiction writers very much. Reputations are made with novels, which pay better (even though few novelists earn enough to go without a day job). I will go to plan B now: shopping my story with likely short fiction markets (one at a time since simultaneous subs are frowned on).

Two candidates that stand out to me are Jim Baen's Universe and Analog Science Fiction & Fact.

On with the grind.

Stargate Atlantis: "Harmony"

"Filler episode"
Rodney finally gets the girl. She just has to grow up.

Overview: Two gorgeous princesses, Mardola and Flora, on a medieval Pegasus galaxy human world sweet talk Sheppard and Rodney into accompanying their preteen sister, Harmony (aka Adria at 7 in SG-1 Season 10 "Flesh and Blood"), on her rite of passage as queen to nearby Ancient ruins.

Sheppard and Rodney must protect Harmony on their journey from a "Beast" and some Genii hired by Mardola, I believe, who doesn't want Harmony to become queen and is after a Genii alliance. Along the way, Harmony develops a crush on Sheppard like pretty much all the other Pegasus women he's run across. She also proposes to him to be her king.

At one point, when Sheppard decides to head back to the castle, Harmony slips off to continue on her own. Sheppard and Rodney go searching post haste. When they find her, she's roasting a bird over a spit. Impressive, but how did the Genii not find her? Since they're closer to the ruins, which the "Beast" doesn't enter according to local lore, Sheppard agrees to push ahead.

Sheppard and Rodney eventually work out that the "Beast" is actually a defensive screen of Ancient microdrones that take out everyone who doesn't have the Ancient gene. Harmony, who has the gene along with Sheppard and Rodney, is able to recharge her pendant, an Ancient data crystal of some sort, as Sheppard and Rodney repair the defensive systems to drive the Genii off. Harmony gushes over Rodney who took her down from a hail of Genii bullets earlier.

Back at the castle, Harmony storms into Mardola's room with some servants, who search her things and find a Genii radio, exposing her as a traitor. At her coronation, Harmony unveils a speedily crafted painting of a heroic-looking Rodney protecting her with Sheppard cringing in the background. Will she propose to Rodney, too?

My reaction to Harmony was conflicted. On the one hand, she was bratty and manipulative. On the other hand, she was also smart, precocious, brave, gritty enough to eat a bird's heart, and a good huntress and woodsman. The things she can do with her little pocket knife. It would've been interesting to see her do 'em. It was also funny the way how she played McKay and made him look like a villain to Sheppard, stealing a food bar from his backpack and giving it to Rodney for Sheppard to catch seemingly red-handed. LOL.

Something that wasn't clear as the episode went along was why Harmony was the would-be queen when she had two older sisters ready to take the throne? Who's ruling in Harmony's stead as she comes of age? And if Team Atlantis has been to Harmony's world before, why is it only now Sheppard and Rodney meet her for the first time?

At one point, Rodney and Sheppard theorize about how the Ancients must have developed drone technology on the planet (very coincidental and convenient), which is why there are people with the Ancient gene who can use the Ancient technology in the castle. What technology? There wasn't any sign of it in the castle scenes.

The pseudo-Arthurian light fantasy dialogue that all aliens on Atlantis and SG-1 speak in (except for Vala and Ronon who talk very Earth-like) was broken by modern-sounding dialogue lines such as:

Harmony (to Sheppard and Rodney): "We can go when the coast is clear."

Mardola (into radio to Genii field commander): "I need an update."

And Harmony's name is pretty hippylike compared to her sisters' monikers. I have to consciously overlook the conceit that the aliens and nonEarth humans on Atlantis and SG-1 speak English. It jars when the storytelling suffers, like it did in this episode. It would've been nice if the producers had SG-1 and Atlantis discover translator technology they can use in offworld contacts.

It also wasn't clear whether the Genii leader Ladon Radim sanctioned the Genii strike force or if they were rogues. What would Harmony's world have gained from allying with the Genii over Atlantis? And just what did Atlantis get from Harmony's world in return for all food, medicine, and help against the Wraith they offered over the last few years?

The Genii in this episode were anonymous and not very competent. In one scene where Rodney and Harmony were without Sheppard, a squad of Genii got the drop on them. The Genii squad leader disarmed Rodney, but rather than step up to pistol whip Rodney and take Harmony, he let Rodney ramble for mercy for a few minutes. During which time, Sheppard maneuvered in the background to take out the squad with one shot.

The unnamed Genii field commander was able to go between the castle to confer with Mardola and the forest search for Harmony without any apparent loss in time.

The Genii have been glaringly absent this season. When we last saw Radim in Season 3 "The Return" Part 1, he was trying to recruit Teyla and Ronon to join him as he was organizing a resistance against the Wraith. It seems that storyline's been forgotten by the Atlantis writers this year.

And there was no mention of why Sheppard and Rodney were offworld without the rest of Team Atlantis. It's just as well. I doubt Rodney can get a lot of stock out of beating Sheppard for the affections of a preteen girl.

This episode encapsulates a lot of the sloppy storytelling that's been plaguing the series. After the first two seasons, I keep expecting more, but the show has been falling short for me in several episodes this year.

I hope the showrunners turn things around before they get worse.

WHAT AN AGENT DOES FOR YOU
By
MICHELE WALLERSTEIN
A screenplay & novel consultant


All writers know that they want an agent, but few writers know what to expect once they get one.

Agents, generally, are responsible for what’s known as the (3) three S’s of representation. They are: SIGNING, SERVICING and SELLING.
That’s it. It sounds simple, but it isn’t. First of all every Agency is different in its size, which means that the individual agents may have more, or less, personal responsibilities. You must change your expectations if you want to work the system well and in a productive manner.

Defining the 3 S’s is easy. The doing of them is complicated.

1. SIGNING requires a variety of efforts. The agent must research and find the writer he/she wishes to sign. Then they must launch an attack to lure the client. That means getting to them, taking them out to lunches, dinners, drinks, Hollywood parties, screenings and more. It requires a modicum of charm and deceit. The deceit lies in “stealing” a writer from another agency who may have been doing an excellent job. The new agent needs to assure the writer that they will be much better. Signing also requires knowing who all of the hot “newbie” writers are and trying to get them. That means going to screenings of independent film, film festivals, and new writer seminars. It means reading all of the new material that gets some heat. The charm lies in being able to sell a writer on signing a contract with an agency they may not need. As you can imagine, all of the above takes a great deal of time.

2. SERVICING means keeping your current clients happy. Wining and dining them is important. The agent must read all their new material. This includes going over new story ideas, treatments, spec scripts and pitches. Servicing often means listening to client’s personal problems, philosophies, interests etc. It may also include going to their weddings, their kid’s Bar Mitzvahs, confirmations and many other personal occasions. As you can imagine, all of the above takes a great deal of time.

3. SELLING means being able to get a huge amount of information as to what the town wants to buy at any particular moment. This requires great personal relationships with a large number of producers, studio executives, story editors, television show runners, assistants and development executives. Agents need to have good reputations with these people so that their material gets read quickly and with an open mind. Agents have to know how to close a deal, get the material to the right people, get buzz going around town about a new spec script and often they must have the ability to package a project with the right director, star and producer. Packaging in and of itself is very complex. As you can imagine, all of the above takes a great deal of time.


Once you understand the basic work of your agent you also need to know the differences between large and small agencies. Let’s start with the larger agencies. ICM, William Morris, APA, etc., are big and have many agents, employees, department heads, a legal department, an accounting department, various talent departments such as actors, music, literary, and more. All of this seems well and good until you realize that this means that your agent must go to endless meetings and be subject to the pressures of inside competition as well as outside competition. They are also under the pressure of doing what they are told by their department heads and the heads of the agency itself. However, they do have those helpful legal and accounting departments to work with them on negotiating deals and reviewing tedious contracts.

The smaller agencies sometimes don’t have the help of legal and accounting departments, but they do have a certain amount of freedom and time to better service their clients with more personally and with more thought. They are often people with more entrepreneurial spirits and creative bents.

Whereas in a large agency the client is more likely to speak to the assistants on a regular basis, in the smaller agencies you will be more apt to have a real relationship with your agent.

Certainly there are more differences within different agency structures, and I will deal with those in future articles. I hope this gives you the basics of what to expect and the knowledge of what your agent is doing when he/she is not on the phone with you.

Michele Wallerstein is a novel and screenplay “doctor” who was formerly an agent for writers, producers and directors in Hollywood. She was Executive Vice-President of Women In Film, is a member of the Academy Of Television Arts and Sciences, serves as a guest speaker at numerous seminars and Film Festivals and writes monthly articles on The Business Of Writing for various ezines.

For her consulting services and/or questions Michele can be reached at:
email: novelconsult@sbcglobal.net
Web site: Novelconsultant.com

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: "The Turk"

"Average"
Is the series stretching thin?

This episode started on an interesting note with Sarah seeing the scientists of the US Manhattan project developing the A bomb, shooting them, and then seeing them morph into Terminators with weapons that they aim at her.

Sarah wakes up and sends John and Cameron off to school, while she begins sussing out other people who could've carried on Dyson's work after he died.

The main stories in this episode were: Sarah investigating a former intern of Dyson's, Andy Goode, for signs of whether his homemade AI, The Turk, had the capacity to become sentient, John and Cameron finding their niches in their unnamed high school, Cromartie coopting a molecular biologist into growing synthetic skin on his metal exoskeleton, and Agent Ellison bringing up the rear as he investigates the murders of the unknown Resistance team.

I felt that Sarah's time with Andy was filled with lots of good moral angst as she decided whether to kill Andy or not in order to stop Skynet's development. Along the way, she was being trailed by an unknown survivor of the Resistance cell, who is waiting for some unknown reason to make contact. It was a good twist resolution to see Sarah set Andy's home on fire, hopefully destroying the Turk, in place of putting a bullet in Andy's forehead.

It was puzzling to see Cameron lose the human touch she had in the pilot and channel a semi-lobotomized River Tam from Serenity instead. It would've been interesting to see what classmate relationships Cameron and John could've developed, but it didn't happen. Instead things focused on a girl whom River--er, Cameron talked to in a bathroom, who was upset over a hallway painting of a door with the letters "IDAN." The girl was so upset she jumped off the roof of the school gym. Without knowing her or the context, getting involved with her death was a bit tough. John tried to climb up the building to talk her down, but Cameron kept him rooted to help keep their low profile. It was nice seeing John begin to want to take action to help others, but I wondered what the first day of school established? I expect John and Cameron will be too busy with Cromartie and the other Terminators to get caught up in on-school dramas, though.

Cromartie steals several units of plasma from a hospital, goes to the apartment of a molecular biologist, and writes up a complex biochemical equation on the scientist's wall. It's apparently for skin generation. At the end, Cromartie sits up in the scientist's bathtub, which is full of blood, and he's swathed with new skin. The scientist cuts open the eye socket linings, letting Cromartie show us his bright red eyes. Thing is, we were shown an earlier scene in which Ellison and the police arrive at the scientist's apartment to find a guy (the scientist?) with his eyes removed. Was the bathtub scene a flashback? Also, why should Cromartie care so much about maintaining cover as a human? I'd think that his overriding imperative would be to continue seeking out John--and inform Skynet that John has jumped to 2007 to bring more Terminators into the hunt.

We see Agent Ellison playing catch up to Sarah and company. The police wonder why he's so interested in what they think is a drug bust gone bad. Ellison learns that one of the dead Resistance fighters has finger prints that match up with a 4-year-old boy living in Ohio. Interesting. It seems to me that Ellison is being set up into becoming a believer and ally. I wonder if it'll matter down the road?

Charlie was completely absent this time around. I wonder what role, if any he'll play in future episodes? I still don't see the purpose he played when John visited him in his apartment in "Gnothi Seauton."

Lots of dangling threads in this episode which I'm beginning to suspect aren't getting woven into a smooth tapestry.