"Stars and Stripes Forever" Excerpt

On February 17, 2007, I subbed electronically an American "Master and Commander" script of mine to the Blue Cat Screenplay Competition. Others will follow. I'm waiting a little bit partly because I'm waiting for a coverage report I purchased from ScriptShark. Fortunately, several fellow screenwriting mates of mine who looked at the story liked what the saw. :-)

I subbed to Blue Cat now because the deadline was approaching and I didn't want it to be overlooked by readers in a last minute overflow of submissions.

"Stars and Stripes" is based on real events centering around an American naval hero, Stephen Decatur.

Logline: A real-life naval lietuenant struggles to destroy an American frigate captured by pirates before she's unleashed against a young United States.

Here's an excerpt:
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INT. MALTA - GOVERNOR'S MANSION -- NIGHT

SUPERIMPOSITION:

MALTA

GOVERNOR'S MANSION

A genteel party of the highest Old World order unfolds in full swing.

A Spanish orchestra plays on a low dais. Glamorously dressed people dance to the orchestra's music.

LIEUTENANT STEPHEN DECATUR, 24, a Navy poster boy in full dress uniform, mingles with the elegant crowd of partygoers. Decatur converses with British Admiral ALEXANDER BALL, 60s, governor of Malta, a tall masthead of a man.

BALL
Most unfortunate the way your Commodore Morris' operations against the Mohammedan corsairs are faring.

Decatur looks to a small knot of American officers clustered around a middle-aged senior in captain's dress, RICHARD MORRIS.

DECATUR
The Barbary Pirates have preyed on shipping for centuries, sir. Your own Admiral Blake had but temporary success himself in these waters two hundred years earlier.
(beat)
My country's efforts are far from over.

BALL
I meant to imply nothing of the sort. The whole world wishes you success. I can imagine how frustrating it must be for the young enterprising officers of your squadron to suffer setback after setback. Service in the Royal navy would offer more... rewarding duty.

DECATUR
My thanks for your concern, sir, but the reward lies in serving flag and country...

Decatur trails off as he notices ELIZABETH BALL, late 20s, a self-reliant beauty,
on the ballroom floor. She's dancing a graceful waltz with Royal navy Lieutenant JAMES HAMILTON, late 20s, a dandy blue blood.

Admiral Ball follows Decatur's gaze.

BALL
Elizabeth, my daughter. Couldn't be prouder of her.

DECATUR
I'm sure she makes her husband very happy.

BALL
Still unmarried despite a trip to India. I've given up trying to match her.

DECATUR
(re: Hamilton)
Her dance partner?

BALL
James Hamilton, first lieutenant of His Britannic Majesty's frigate Hecate. He's the eldest son of one of England's leading families and my daughter's childhood friend.

DECATUR
She dances well.

BALL
It's her passion. She just learned a rather... spirited... dance in Madrid. The Fandango, I believe it's called. She has yet to find a partner here who'll go through it with her.

INT. DANCE FLOOR

Elizabeth and Hamilton are winding down their waltz.

They notice Decatur waiting for them at their end point. The other couples around them disperse for refreshments.

HAMILTON
What's all this in aid of?

Decatur bows formally.

DECATUR
Lieutenant Stephen Decatur. United States Navy.

HAMILTON
I don't believe I know that name... It's not English.

DECATUR
My grandfather was an officer in the French navy, who settled in America.
(to Elizabeth)
The Admiral was just telling me your ladyship was in need of a partner to follow you through a "spirited" Spanish dance. I've been to Barcelona. I offer you my services.

HAMILTON
(dry)
Thank you, but no. Her ladyship and I were dancing --

DECATUR
Actually sir, you were trying. She succeeded.

Elizabeth laughs.

ELIZABETH
(to Decatur)
Very well, Lieutenant. I accept your gallant offer.

HAMILTON
Elizabeth -- ?

ELIZABETH
James, be a dear. Please indulge me.

Hamilton nods his assent, gives Decatur a DARK LOOK as he steps away.

Decatur offers his hand to Elizabeth and leads her by the Spanish band.

DECATUR
(to band leader)
Maestro... a 3/4 measure, por favor.

Decatur and Elizabeth glide to the center of the dance floor.

Elizabeth spins before Decatur, stamps her feet and snaps her fingers in time to a rapid musical measure. The guitarists and castanet players echo her, and the floor clears all around the couple in unknowing compliance.

Elizabeth slides into short, quick rushes of 2-3 steps, going to one side, then another. Her hands and arms great moving features, her feet stamping in time to the music --

A sudden break in the tune --

She stops rigid in a picturesque pose, with body bent slightly backwards, hands on hips, and head erect and defiant. She fixes Decatur with her eyes, expectant. He --

-- stamps his feet, snaps his fingers, and steps in perfect response.

Together they bring to life the Fandango, the dance of "The Chase": boy sees girl, girl snubs boy, girl chases boy, then runs away.

Hamilton FUMES from the side. Morris and the other American officers look on OPEN-MOUTHED. Admiral Ball looks pleased with himself.

At the end of certain measures, the music halts abruptly, and the two dancers freeze till it resumes.

Neither touches with the hand or body. But they lock with their eyes --

-- And lose themselves in one another as the dance plays itself out.

Decatur and Elizabeth revel in their dance and each other. When the last measure roars to a halt, they're TIGHTLY EMBRACED, BREATHING HARD, barely within decorum.

The crowd roars its approval, but it doesn't exist for them. They're the CENTER of each other's universe.

"HEAVEN'S MANDATE " SCREENPLAY EXCERPT

I'm posting for the heck of it a scene from a screenplay I completed for a winter UCLA screenwriting class.

It's titled "Heaven's Mandate." Storyline: A Chinese Joan of Arc with a mystic sword sacrifices all to save her homeland and thwart a power-mad noblewoman from becoming empress of China.

Think a Chinese Joan of Arc fighting for righteousness with a magic sword or "Gladiator" & "Braveheart" going to China, where they meet "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."

I've sent this script to a UCLA script competition. The top 5 receive a small cash reward, there are five honorable mentions, and all ten get their names and story summaries printed in film trade journals.

I entered the script to see how it fares with competition. If it places within the top ten and I get calls from agents, managers, and producers who want to see the script, I'll send it out and see what happens.

[Note: Since this posting, I received word that my script was a winner in the 2005-2006 UCLA Screenplay Competition. Woohoo! See my UCLA Screenplay Contest Win post.]

I may likely market this script with a Hong Kong studio instead because they deal in this genre more.

When reading a script, it's more like a blue print for the director who shoots the scenes and the actors who play them out. The audience will never read the script, just see the film on screen. A reader can't get into the characters' heads like in fiction. We know the characters by what they say and do. Character descriptions are a bit more general in order to give casting people a wider variety of actors to look for and are used more to give actors a sense of who the characters are.

Enjoy the excerpt:
[Note: Format not saved by blog software. :-/]
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EXT. REBEL ARMY HEADQUARTERS -- DAY

The ORGANIZED CHAOS of an army cleaning up a field of battle
runs rampant: litter bearers carrying wounded, prisoners
being rounded up, regiments taking roll, etc.

IMPERIAL YELLOW DRAGON BANNERS stake out a council of war in
the storm of activity.

Chinese, Khitan, and Turkish officers in gilded lamellar
armor stand clustered around AN LUSHAN, mid 40s, who leans
over a table littered with maps and other documents.

Half Turk, half Iranian, Lushan looks every bit the seasoned
military man--

Lushan shakes the table with a clenched fist.

(Note: All dialogue is in Mandarin Chinese with English
subtitles.)

LUSHAN
How fortunate it is for Captain Wu
to be up in the mountains, else he'd
be short a head now.

A CHINESE CAPTAIN speaks up.

CHINESE CAPTAIN
Captain Wu's division held up the
advance of the entire enemy right
wing before breaking...

Lushan shoots him a withering look.

CHINESE CAPTAIN
(faster)
Surely he can be excused.

A TURKISH CAPTAIN offers his support.

TURKISH CAPTAIN
Captain Wu's action did lend us enough
time to pierce the enemy center and
rout him from the field.

LUSHAN
I suppose...

Lushan looks up as a squad of soldiers escorting Ching and
Seng approaches his council.

The women, their hair tied in topknots, wear dull-colored
tunics and breeches. Ching wears the straight-bladed jian
sword Heavenglaive strapped to her back. Seng wields a long
staff.

LUSHAN
(to sergeant)
I said I wasn't to be disturbed.
The women can entertain the officers
later.

The SERGEANT bows. His face and those of his men are bruised.

SERGEANT
(uncomfortable)
These honorable women are nuns from
Shaolin.

Everyone's attention focuses on Ching and Seng.

CHING
Our master would be displeased to
learn you delegated us to the duties
of camp followers, Governor-general
An.

Both women bow.

CHING
I am Fa Ching.

SENG
Li Seng. Please accept the service
of two humble nuns.

Lushan studies Ching with new concentration.

LUSHAN
(tightly controlled)
You are all your master sent?

SENG
(low)
Not willingly--

Ching silences Seng with a quick look.

CHING
We are volunteers.

The officers talk among themselves.

CHINESE CAPTAIN
These are the famous cudgel monks?

TURKISH CAPTAIN
Cudgel maidens, more like.

CHINESE CAPTAIN
I'm up for some swordplay.

KHITAN CAPTAIN
Why only two?

LUSHAN
I see your master has a sense of
humor. He could've simply requested
a larger temple donation by letter.
(beat)
Go back to Shaolin, little girls...
Better yet go home and find yourselves
good farmers to look after you.
You're no Monk Biancheng or
Monk Yuekong.

Lushan gestures to the squad of soldiers to lead Ching and
Seng away.

A beat as the soldiers eye each other nervously, then point
their spears and swords at the women --

Ching slashes several nearby spear points off with one swipe
of her sword. Seng covers her back.

KHITAN CAPTAIN
A tiger-demon!

CHING
No, we are Nun Ching and Nun Seng.
Would the governor-general care to
test our quality?

Lushan draws his DAO SWORD, a saber with a broad, curved
blade.

LUSHAN
I've an edge to work off.